Dec 27

Concealed Carry Tips – From a fat guy, to other fat guys

This article was taken from a posting by reddit user BromeoAndCooliet, with permission of the author, who is fat.


My body type:

Weight: 270 Height 5’6

I see this question all the time “I’m fat but how can I has cheeseburger AND ccw?”

Well here’s the realities:

As an overweight person, it may be fractionally easier to conceal – but you’re always going to be disadvantaged if you’re out of shape versus in shape. That’s just how it is, you cannot argue that mobility is not a worthwhile trait to have when carrying and if you’re fat you just can’t get your ass going fast enough. Writing down what you eat, switching to drinking only water, and even a cheap 64$ weight bench from Wal-Mart will take you further than you think they will. Here’s this this is what I do. It doesn’t take much of your time and you’re already big, so why not turn some of that into strength? I started out squatting 20 pounds, and am now up to over 160.

Therefore my most important rule of fat guy carry is: Lose Weight

Where to carry?

This is the part where people think fat guy carry is awesome. “You’re so fat you can literally carry anywhere.” Well slow the fuck down there Randy and quit munchin on those burgers. The thing about being fat is once again, YES, you can hide your gun better. But it’s going to be a pain in our already large asses to get to your gun in certain places.

Here’s a fat body I’ve drawn in paint marked with areas that I as a fat guy like and don’t like to carry:

Legend: Red = Bad. Orangish = ? Possibly consider. Green = PERFECT.

Shoulder holsters: No, they’re a hassle even if you’re skinny and if you’re a very obese barrel chested mother fucker you’re gonna be grasping for your gun like a turtle on it’s back. (well maybe not exactly but it’s a good mental picture)

Small of back carry: No, we’re fat, our pants slip a lot until we start to lose weight. You know your buttcrack shows literally all the time because you’re plagued with “White Man Ass” and you haven’t been doing your squats.

Appendix carry: No, you’ve got a fat belly, you can put a gun there but you’re going to be uncomfortable and it’ll take you a lot longer to access it because you’re fat.

Pocket carry: Maybe, if you have a smaller gun, and you need deeper concealment because of work or something. I only carry a Glock 19 and haven’t needed to go any smaller.


But Bromeo, where is the ideal carry location on porpoise shaped bodies like ours?

Answer: It’s on your hip, about 3:00-4:00.

Why? Because your love handles may be fat, but they’re not overbearingly fat like your belly is. You can set the cant of your pistol so that it rests high and against your love handle. This means your gun sticks out fractionally more but you’ll be able to access it and it isn’t in a spot where your shirt rides up as long as you practice basic CCW rules, ie learn to squat and dress appropriately mother fucker.

So now you know you should lose weight, and where, in my opinion, your best carrying option lies. Onto:

Here is me:

Reminder: 5’6, 270

This is where my gun sits, a little past 3:00. I tucked my shirt around the Glock because I’m fat and my belly fat doesn’t come out unless I’m being photographed for the Gunnit calendar.

This is what my gun looks like on my fat body, when I have a t-shirt on. (AKOU47-74 fat guy shirt for reference).

Gear set up:

Hanks Amish Belt. This was on sale when I got it and I’ve consistently vouched for it. A good belt is a good investment this one is an inch thick and holds back my meaty girth like the The Wall and it’s Ravens stood against the White Walkers for thousands of years.

Foxx Hybrid Holster- When I was first looking at CCW I saw this holster posted, and while there may be other holsters I’ve thought looked cooler this one has never failed me, and I’ve got no reason to replace it until it does. I paid the extra 6.99 for low profile clips, which in my opinion, are completely worth it. If you’ll note there’s different spots in the holster to set your J hooks or metal clips to get the cant that your fat body needs.


I buy pants one size higher for more comfortable carry. I normally wear a size 40 pants, and that is what I carry most comfortably in. However, I wear size 38 with no holster, and though I can cram a holster in there you might as well spray paint me red and leave me in the sun like a hot can of Dr. Pepper to explode because it’s not comfortable.

Following basic CCW opinions, you should be fine with whatever T-shirt you wear normally, providing that you don’t all of a sudden feel like exercising in the middle of Wal-Mart doing Jumping Jacks. But who are we kidding? You’re fat and Jumping Jacks aren’t even on your mind because they put a new McDonalds in the Wal-Mart and you can drive your hover cart right inside!

However, Duluth Trading Co has some options you might like. For instance, in my state open carry is legal, but if I travel to any of the other nearby states I can’t do that, in fact, if my gun even shows outside the waistband that can be counted brandishing. So for an extra bit of protection I throw a button up shirt over my T-shirt. Because no one wanted to see your favorite Mountain Dew moo moo anyways.

Now let’s be serious:

If you at all ever doubt your mental status, do not carry. I’m PHYSICALLY fat which puts ME at a disadvantage when carrying, but if you’re MENTALLY unhealthy that puts everyone at risk. If you take medication know how it affects you. For instance, I take blood pressure medication – which can make you drowsy, and is a risk when operating – anything – even gats. However, there are medications out there that can fuck you up, and if you’re fat your chances are probably higher you’ll be on some type of medication for SOMETHING. Remember the goal of CCW is to be safe. So be safe.

Take care of yourself, hit the gym, do your squats, watch your food and practice. Remember this is just fat guy CCW advice to other fat guys wanting to CCW. These are things I’ve experienced, and maybe it can save you some money or make you better prepared.


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